Creating Our Own Anxiety

I feel I have been pretty productive lately, managing my life the best way that I can. Do you ever have moments like that? In observing certain moments like I always do I thought about this topic for today as I strolled around in my fave scarf. I really do love how vibrant it is and how it can make any plain outfit standout but anywhoo lets not get side-tracked.

So, what’s that, that you’re usually thinking? What, what if situation are you concocting in that head of yours? Are you familiar with mind-reading? Or better yet catastrophizing a situation that hasn’t happened?

Creating your own anxieties in your head can truly be what limits you to take that next step. That fear of what’s out there, that fear of failure, that fear to succeed that fear that you can carry out meaningful conversations, or just whatever fear you want to plug-in here. We tend to stick with things that we’re used to and we try not to divert our paths too much because we’ve figured out what keeps us in a certain bubble. It may not necessarily  challenge us but we gravitate towards old behaviors and certain thoughts because we think it’s what we know. It doesn’t take much effort to revert back to our old ways because we’ve been utilizing these things in our lives for quite some time, so why change anything? Sometimes we think it’s best to not stray away from what we know because we don’t know what’s on the other side so why get hurt, embarrassed, frustrated but on the flip side, it could lead to happiness, growth, pleasure, or loads of self-esteem.

The reality of all of this is, that just maybe the anxieties that we create for ourselves could be a way to take us away from dealing with those real life problems/challenges. If we stay in our head, then we don’t have to truly face the reality of what life is trying to throw at us. How things have occurred in your past sets a blueprint on the automatic thoughts you have that guide you through dealing with current issues. Being mindful of cognitive distortionsand the role it plays in your everyday thinking can be a great start to how you deal with any situation that comes your way. You have control of how you think about things but its first learning about why you automatically think the worst about things. What from your past has led to this? How can you deal with the issue from your past to think a bit differently, moving forward?

One thing to start, is something called thought stopping. When you have a thought come up, yell out STOP, it may be a bit weird for people around you in that moment, but they’ll be okay, this is for you. Or yell in your head STOP and before you start all the thoughts you could start having, sit back and think in this moment. What is making me think what I’m thinking? Do I have evidence for thinking this? How can I prove to myself that what I’m thinking is true or not true?  These questions get you out of your head and focused on concrete evidence. We can’t live our lives being entranced  with ruminating thoughts that aren’t taking us anywhere. To live your best life, it’s about focusing on what you know to be true, validating those things to make sure and dealing with things as they are and not how you expect them to be. You are more than the things that have happened to you, your thoughts can be controlled and you can do things you set out to do. It’s all about being aware of you and taking control back over different things in your life. You can think differently, it’ll take time, time you need to give yourself but your way of thinking can change.

Thanks for reading

Alvie

Oh..Where your Worries Will Take You.

How often do the things you worry about deter you from certain things? I ask just because sometimes we do need to check in with ourselves, yes I’m mentioning this again. 🙂 As I was just being the person I am this weekend, enjoying being in ATL,  I remember having this talk with someone and it made me see how busy our lives are and maybe you don’t have a lot going on but sometimes our minds are a different story. This in itself can be draining and then we wonder why we are so tired at times and don’t know the root cause, we are mentally drained. How often do you just have thoughts about things that may not currently be going on, sometimes thoughts you create from something that has occurred or just thinking without any clear solution on the next step you can take? I can have this feeling at times, at one point I didn’t understand how having certain thoughts affected the anxiety I would experience, if I’m already thinking about the outcome of a situation before it ever starts or if I’m just thinking without a plan, it sets up my day to where I can’t fully be balanced and truly drains you to the point where sleep becomes an issue, you don’t know where to start with things because of everything in that head of yours and you really feel like nothing can fully get completed. You can’t fully commit to things you would like when you’re constantly in your own head.  Worrying really does take us away from living our best life, it takes us away from being able to be present and it can remove us from true growth because worrying can keep us stagnant. When you are so used to worrying about things, being able to do something different can be unheard of but it is possible.  When we worry it sometimes serves as a slight distraction from having to deal with reality, if we don’t have the right coping mechanisms, we can just continue to worry and worry to no end and this really just affects us mentally and physically.  Sometimes I know I can just worry to a default, some things don’t need my energy but I sometimes can’t help it and one of the things that can help is, like I’ve mentioned before, identify if this worry is within your control or not, try to focus on things within your control and what you can do to manage this worry, write down your worries so you just have some way to get them out of your head, have a set time to just give yourself a few minutes to worry about your worries and think about possible solutions, challenge what you’re worrying about, does it serve a purpose for you and lastly name it, name whats going on, yes, whats currently happening is worry, don’t let it just continue without truly acknowledging it and letting it know that it doesn’t have that control over you. Worrying is no joke and can truly take hold of you if you don’t let it know whose boss. Do you ever feel like the worries you have drain you from taking care of you?

Happy Monday and goal for this week is just working on believing in the process, believing that what I’m doing is taking me to where I would like to be, so positive thoughts, positive vibes and nothing can stop me. Hope you have a goal this week as well.

 

Thanks for reading,

Alvie