I’ve talked about this before and wanted to share more ways we can change the scenario to get a different outcome for ourselves.

One of the things that occurs in life is how we can continue to place ourselves in situations or we may avoid  moments due to a perceived fear of what we think could happen if we change things up for the better. At times we think this change may not work, so it may be best to continue with doing what we’ve done in the past, using an unhealthy coping response.

Think about it, if you’ve ever experienced anxiety, you tend to avoid moments where your anxious feelings could be affected. With depression, you tend to not do anything at times, because of the thought you can’t, things won’t change, etc. so you just continue to be in this state of feeling like you do.  The thing is you can’t see the change you want to see in any moment if you don’t try to tackle it in some way..Right?

To be comfortable enough to take that next step in any moment to overcome the certain feelings, it’s focusing on changing your scenario. Basically, this is changing up how you see this moment, imagining a different outcome and taking necessary steps to get you over this hurdle.

There is no set rule that we have to continue to live in this state of feeling anxious, sad, angry, frustrated, irritable, etc. It can be changed. I always wonder if at times we think this is possible. Yes, at times there are mood changes within us that arise unexpectedly, but if we experience certain emotions long enough, should we try to take some responsibility in changing up how we are affected so it doesn’t continue to hinder our growth?

To Change Up the Scenario, a few things to get you started

• Know What Resources You Have to get over this:

  From your support system, having someone that can hold you accountable to take the necessary steps that you need to take. Also, what are some strengths you can use in this moment to stay strong and motivated? There are moments where we can get overwhelmed and feel we don’t have the resources to improve on certain ways we feel. So, that’s why it’s important to make a list of the things you have around you and also identify anything you might need to improve these moments for yourself. You want to make sure you’re ready and this is where it starts.

• Imagine things a bit differently:

  At times you can replay the same scenario in your head and it keeps giving you the same outcome, so what do you do? Avoid, Avoid, Avoid. We don’t want that, there is something in that situation that can be changed and it’s starts with thinking of a different outcome. Thinking of how you can approach the situation a bit differently, thinking of a way your behavior can be shifted to get a more desired outcome to face certain fears.

  • Let’s say public speaking isn’t your thing and you keep ruminating about how everyone is talking about you when you’re presenting information that you know like the back of your hand. You replay this moment in your head, you can’t find the words to say what you need to, your voice cracks, you’re sweating profusely, etc. Now, what if instead of thinking of all these not so great things, you think about how you’ve practiced this situation several times and are ready.  You do a few relaxation techniques prior to this moment to calm yourself down, you take a stress ball with you to the podium to help you relax and you focus on the content of your presentation instead of what people are thinking, how that could shift how you feel about being prepared for a moment like this? You might just relax a little bit more, feel a bit more confident. So, imagine if you kept replaying this in your head, what do you think the outcome would be for you?

• Take Baby Steps to Get You Started:

  It’s always good just to start with what that first step can be, no matter how big or small. What do you feel inside of you would be an easy first step to get you going? Write that step down, think about doing this step, set a date, then begin. Schedule this step in your weekly routine and keep it going until you feel you’ve mastered this, then think of another step and just repeat this process.

• Build Up How You Feel on What You Know Your Capable of:

  Build up on your confidence. If there is something hindering your self-esteem and confidence, what is that thing and how can you make sure your self-concept is intact to believe in yourself during this process? Be careful with your thoughts, they could be saying things in certain moments that may unconsciously bring you down and make you feel like you can’t do certain things. Try to make it a habit to uplift yourself, create moments where you celebrate yourself, savor in moments where you did one small thing. It may not mean much to you but your psyche on the other hand may really appreciate this and doing more of these things can open up some pathways in that brain of yours to think and do things differently in situations to overcome the fears you may have.

Not every thought that we have about certain moments is valid. Recognize when your mind is playing tricks on you, when you’re just limiting yourself, recognize when you’re not challenging yourself and take a simple approach to think about things differently to create a new scenario for yourself.

Thanks for reading, I got 2 post in the bag this week. Look at me and if you didn’t catch what I wrote, check it out here.

Have a lovely weekend

Alvina