So, I’ve been getting used to this single thing, and it’s actually not too bad.

One of the things I feel I never got to do when I first moved to the DMV area was a chance to really explore everything I wanted. I have this book that my boss got me called 100 things to Do in DC before you Die. The title doesn’t really do much for me but there’s lots of great finds on things that go on in the city that you can’t really search for on yelp, so very excited to start crossing some things off.

I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that people here are just out and about during the winter days like there isn’t a slight chill in the forecast, but I know I’ll get there. So, I wanted to make my own list of things I feel are benefits to being single.

It can be a time of growth, understanding and challenges but in all it is a point in any one’s life where there is a choice to either accept how things are or continue to maneuver through life still challenging yourself, and becoming a better person as a result of it.

Being just single comes with some great benefits:

• Your alone time becomes something you care about: Maybe before you had to share this time or had less of it. Now, it’s something that you look to, it helps you think, helps you regroup, helps you feel centered and allows you to know how precious that time is for you. It becomes a space where you get things done for yourself and allows you to do the things you want to do at the end of the day.
• Things you neglected become more of a priority: You look back on relationships, goals and just other things that you neglected and you make those things more of a priority. Hopefully this next time around you allow it to stick bc you’ve built up an arsenal of things that you know bring joy to your life so regardless of anything new that comes into your space, you know how to balance those things out.
• Be selfish: To get your mind right, most of these benefits mentioned, require some selfishness which you shouldn’t apologize for.
• Can make an effort to date yourself: Find who you are, any part of you that got lost in some way, this is the time to bring it out ad nurture it.
• You can sit back and realize that life milestones can be changed and best suited for what works for you: This is your life and if you choose to do things a bit later than what is expected of you, it is A-Okay, bc this is your path and you have to be ready when you’re ready, not when others want you to be.
• You have time to gain some mental clarity: You get to think through some things, how do you make yourself a better person, are there some changes you need to make? Being able to have this moment is about being able to make decisions that are best for you. You’re trying to get your life together so you can be ready for any thing that comes your way. The great Beyoncé said on Oprah some years back that what makes her good in her marriage was that she had a life of her own before she started this great journey with her hubbie. That’s the level I’m trying to be at and that’s my focus.

If you have any other benefits, do share. This is a time of enlightenment for anyone in this same space and its all about finding a part in life that is for you and only you, so hopefully you can share aspects of this for any future relationship to come.

Thanks for reading

Alvina