Have you heard of the term sologamy? Sologamy is simply marrying yourself, although not legally binding.  The meaning behind it really speaks to me and just everything I talk about on here.

I wasn’t familiar with the term until recently, but I’ve been hearing more about people marrying themselves and last week is when I actually knew there was ‘word’ tied to it, to to describe this process.  I was first introduced to this watching the one and only Carrie Bradshaw on Sex in the City. At first, I laughed it off but as I’ve grown, I see the importance. We can involve ourselves in all these things around us that at times a little part of us and our time is taken away, with all these things we get into as life really just takes its course.  Why not make yourself an important factor and celebrate yourself like you celebrate a relationship with someone else? Why not make it a big deal that you value yourself first? Why not create a bond with yourself that is unbreakable? I think it’s a great moment when you can take this time to celebrate you.

We’re used to it being ingrained in our head, that when we build a connection with someone, we celebrate this union by eventually getting married. But what about the connection with ourselves? What is that, what part of life were we really taught to do this? Where is it portrayed for us to really see that this is an important aspect of our lives as we grow and develop? I don’t remember fully getting this lesson, do you?

For someone to make it a point to stand up in front of everyone and commit in a sense to themselves, takes guts. I don’t think it’s anything selfish, I feel that it puts more emphasis on someone building themselves up, finding their worth and establishing that, being in tune with self-care practices to make themselves a priority. I had a conversation with someone about things that are important in a relationship and my first thought was the relationship we have with ourselves.

In my opinion, we can’t be fully good with a relationship with someone else when we have things to work on. Yes, people can build us up but before all that, it’s about your own connection. It’s about making a value statement, looking at all aspects of your life, the good and the bad and how you stay true to these values. If something isn’t right, it’s about working on trying to fix things to balance things out for you. We can’t be 100% in our relationships with others and give our all, when we haven’t quite gotten the hang of who we are and what we want.

My point with all of this is, is simply building on the relationship you have with yourself. Don’t rush the process, this is your time to do what you want in finding you out. It could take the end of a relationship for you to really see your worth, but I think when you realize your importance, you don’t let that go. You recognize the importance of your needs, the importance of your voice and being heard, the importance of your awareness, and just really the importance of you.  As things happen around you, it’s being able to still make it a point to realize that for you to be fully present in these areas of your life, its starting with getting to know yourself better so you can understand how to go about certain situations that arise in your life.

So, I appreciate that sologamy and everything that it stands for, I think more people should do it more often to get to the core of who they are.

Alvie