I feel I have been pretty productive lately, managing my life the best way that I can. Do you ever have moments like that? In observing certain moments like I always do I thought about this topic for today as I strolled around in my fave scarf. I really do love how vibrant it is and how it can make any plain outfit standout but anywhoo lets not get side-tracked.

So, what’s that, that you’re usually thinking? What, what if situation are you concocting in that head of yours? Are you familiar with mind-reading? Or better yet catastrophizing a situation that hasn’t happened?

Creating your own anxieties in your head can truly be what limits you to take that next step. That fear of what’s out there, that fear of failure, that fear to succeed that fear that you can carry out meaningful conversations, or just whatever fear you want to plug-in here. We tend to stick with things that we’re used to and we try not to divert our paths too much because we’ve figured out what keeps us in a certain bubble. It may not necessarily  challenge us but we gravitate towards old behaviors and certain thoughts because we think it’s what we know. It doesn’t take much effort to revert back to our old ways because we’ve been utilizing these things in our lives for quite some time, so why change anything? Sometimes we think it’s best to not stray away from what we know because we don’t know what’s on the other side so why get hurt, embarrassed, frustrated but on the flip side, it could lead to happiness, growth, pleasure, or loads of self-esteem.

The reality of all of this is, that just maybe the anxieties that we create for ourselves could be a way to take us away from dealing with those real life problems/challenges. If we stay in our head, then we don’t have to truly face the reality of what life is trying to throw at us. How things have occurred in your past sets a blueprint on the automatic thoughts you have that guide you through dealing with current issues. Being mindful of cognitive distortionsand the role it plays in your everyday thinking can be a great start to how you deal with any situation that comes your way. You have control of how you think about things but its first learning about why you automatically think the worst about things. What from your past has led to this? How can you deal with the issue from your past to think a bit differently, moving forward?

One thing to start, is something called thought stopping. When you have a thought come up, yell out STOP, it may be a bit weird for people around you in that moment, but they’ll be okay, this is for you. Or yell in your head STOP and before you start all the thoughts you could start having, sit back and think in this moment. What is making me think what I’m thinking? Do I have evidence for thinking this? How can I prove to myself that what I’m thinking is true or not true?  These questions get you out of your head and focused on concrete evidence. We can’t live our lives being entranced  with ruminating thoughts that aren’t taking us anywhere. To live your best life, it’s about focusing on what you know to be true, validating those things to make sure and dealing with things as they are and not how you expect them to be. You are more than the things that have happened to you, your thoughts can be controlled and you can do things you set out to do. It’s all about being aware of you and taking control back over different things in your life. You can think differently, it’ll take time, time you need to give yourself but your way of thinking can change.

Thanks for reading

Alvie