Before I get in to healthy boundaries, I just wanted to say Daylights Savings is no one’s friend unless you’re somewhere like Arizona and don’t have to deal with that. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it today, losing an hour and not a person that likes caffeine, the struggle was too real today. Glad you stopped by today to hear my message on healthy good boundaries. It really should be a core component of how we live. I think with me touching a bit on decluttering last week, this really does fit in with how you choose to structure your life the way you want.
In knowing what boundaries are good for you, it really sets the stage on what you’re willing to allow and not allow in your life. I was having a conversation with someone and we were going back and forth on being able to create a boundary that doesn’t necessarily hurt someone’s feelings. My argument with this was, if someone isn’t willing to do the same for you in a sense of not knowing when to be a bit more aware of how they may say things to you, I felt for her she has a right to create a healthy boundary to not have to deal with this person’s unfiltered remarks. That’s one of the things that really gets us, we can be so concerned about the well-being of others, even if they don’t show us the same respect, that we set aside how this affects our overall mental wellness. Having proper healthy boundaries for the people you choose to have around, really sets the blueprint on how you command your needs to be met. I think when you don’t have this kind of set process of how you want to be treated, it just sets the stage for just inconsistencies that can occur throughout your life. If you don’t make it known how you want certain things to play out by not communicating the importance of your needs then, what makes you think that someone will pay attention to the passive nonverbal cues you may provide? Hope not too harsh.
Just like you can make several lists for your groceries, your to-do list for the day, how you choose to cope with things that occur in your life, one of the other things to make a list of is what you consider to be healthy boundaries and just keep that as a list that you have in your head so when something seems a bit off in a relationship or two, you know what things to watch out for and the things that don’t match up with the life that you’re try to create for yourself, it needs to be handled so you can continue to live your best life.
With anything that we usually focus on, having clear boundaries regarding your interpersonal relationships, really does show that 1). Your needs are important just like anyone else and 2) That you weren’t put on this earth for others to take advantage of. Your value to any relationship shouldn’t go unnoticed and if it does, you need to reflect on how beneficial this relationship is to your life.
Some healthy boundaries that I live by:
- Clearly communicate your wants and needs (accept that your request may be declined)
- Maintaining personal values despite what others want or think
- Trusting my own decision
- I don’t allow others to take advantage of my generosity
- Learning that it’s okay to say “No,” with no explanation needed
Do you have your own list on good healthy boundaries?