Where does your source of validation come from?

Hello again, this is a new week, what are you going to do differently than the last week to get to that goal you’re trying to get to? I had a pretty relaxing weekend, thought a bit about why I wasn’t at NYFW, one day soon I will get there,  it rained quite a bit but I was able to get out and make something of the weekend in these Maryland streets. I feel like I’m truly becoming a grown-up in being able to get our apartment together, really paying attention to detail to make sure our place reflects both of our personalities and has a grown-up feel. I never thought I would focus on so many ways to place a candle in a specific area of our place or just going back and forth with the types of different chairs that are affordable and can fit with the overall living room theme of not really trying too hard but things look like they just fit together without much effort. Ahhh the life. A topic that keeps hanging around that I haven’t talked about is where we seek our validation from, with things in our life. In so many conversations, we allow “likes” and others words of encouragement define how we should in a sense be “okay” with the things we do, but it comes to a point where you have to ask yourself, is that what you strive for or is it your own validation more important? We can get sucked into this world of feeling accepted by how others choose to attend to us and I think this is such a serious topic because for some we don’t see how much we attend to others opinions and leach onto it like it serves a true purpose in our lives. Sometimes we seek validation because maybe its all we have to really feel like we matter, like we mean something to someone, sometimes if you’re told certain things about yourself, getting others approval is what you know, it makes you see like you have a purpose when maybe you don’t believe in yourself, but its time to get that belief back in you.  Believe in who you are, what you’ve become, the image you see everyday, it may not be perfect but everyday is a new day to find meaning in the things you do. It’s great to have people show appreciation and support for you but is that what’s needed to keep you going? If it is,  this is a concern and I’ve had my own bouts with this, but it’s figuring some things out. Why do you seek or need others approval? Dig deep, what triggers this in you, pay attention to when you’re excitement is controlled by what someone may say to you and create that excitement in yourself first. I know I repeat myself in certain ways but it’s really paying attention to your self-talk, it’s seeing what motivates you, it’s seeing why you feel the attention from others is more important than what you provide to yourself.  Everyday should be another day where you get to know yourself, you build yourself up, you feed yourself that positive energy, you encourage everything that you do, regardless of the uncertainties you may have because at the end of the day it starts with you. We can’t go on floating on the words and attention of others because that will be what we continue to live for so pay attention to that and get back on focusing your own thing, your own positive self-talk, you own ways of happiness. As you make it known to yourself that you don’t need others validation, you stay in your own lane, you check-in with your thoughts to make sure your thinking is where it needs to be and you learn how to build yourself up from within and not externally. I hope each day of this week, you’re mindful of the things you attend to, have a good one and I will have another post for you in the a few days.

Thanks for reading,

Alvie

 

Photos: Nikki (knwphotos)

 

 

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