We communicate in very different ways especially when triggered by a specific emotion and one of the things that is great in all scenarios is being able to assertively get your point across. You want to make sure that your needs as well as another persons needs are being met like they should be, you want to be sure that you feel safe enough to communicate your needs to someone, you want to make sure that you’re not being taken advantage of, etc. To do this, you want to move towards the path of assertive communication. Sometimes we can passively communicate and that’s where needs being met are one-sided. We can assume others may know how we feel so may never voice our concerns so someone may continue certain behaviors that we don’t like, so when you’re passive about your concerns, others are passive in how they attend to you, if you want people to pay attention to your needs, just like you may pay attention to theirs, speak up, let them know you don’t like when they run late, or when they make certain statements toward you or don’t give you credit where credit needs to be given. I promise you once you start to voice specifically what it is you aren’t happy with, others will try to make that effort to make sure they do these things less and less. It’s all about your tone and how you approach situations assertively. Lastly, we have a way of aggressively communicating our needs and that doesn’t get us anywhere doing this, we act on impulse so sometimes you’re not as clear on what you’re saying because you’re just talking just to be heard. The key is working on taking that step back and thinking about how you want to say things, making sure it’s in a way that you aren’t hurting others but assertively getting your point across. The key in how we communicate is that we want others to match how we communicate with them so in looking at the 3 ways, you want to both share an assertive method of communicating to have balanced interpersonal relationships with others because when you have this, both parties try to make sure each persons needs are being met and if not, it’s always just a work in progress to get there and that is key, when both parties have that general focus, communication becomes a bit easier to do, you gain that open and honest relationship with others, which to a sense all of us want, right? Out of the 3, which one do you do the most?
One last thing in how we communicate when there are just days that aren’t your best, there still should be some form of communication from you in some way, whether it’s just putting it out there that you need a moment, letting someone know that you’re not doing well, being honest in some way about how you’re feeling because once again, if no one knows, they can’t help you. One of things that can happen is assuming once again that people know how you’re feeling or you may just shut down and that doesn’t do us any good. You can journal this moment out but just get it out in some way so you still acknowledge what’s going on with you so you’re not hiding it and letting it fester and avoid dealing with it like you should.
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