I’ve been thinking about the best time to write about this topic, I usually have a list of ideas from things that have happened in my life recently or in the past as well as issues that I feel need to be talked about from conversations I have with others on a regular basis. This question, “Are You Happy?” was part of a quote I read by the late Heath Ledger and as I look for where I exactly found it, I can’t seem to locate it, don’t you just hate that, but what he was saying in the statement was we in a sense go around this life of ours asking others or ourselves very generic questions but do we ever ask each other, or ask ourselves, “Are you happy?” I can’t remember the last time I asked someone that question, even with my clients I feel it’s always around the subject in a way. I think for one, this question is something that can truly get people to honestly express how they’re feeling, instead of getting the generic responses of “I’m fine” or “I’m good”, when we usually ask generic questions that we may really not want the answer to but I guess it’s the right thing to do, right? How many times throughout your day do you answer with the same response when asked, “how are you?” How many times do you really think about what it is you really feel before answering the question? We go through the motions so much that our feelings/emotions don’t necessarily match with what we communicate. Our days can be filled with various activities that keep us going so do we ever really care in a sense how someone truly is, when we ask the question? Are we willing to sit and listen, if someone were to start elaborating more on their true feelings? We are on the go so often that we can sometimes miss certain clues on how someone is, we miss being able to read people’s true emotions at times because our focus is on so many other things. Sometimes someone may just need someone to talk to, may just need a shoulder to cry on, may just really need a caring individual in that right moment to briefly take them out of their chaotic world and just be themselves for just a second or just feel, feel happy, feel sad, feel any type of way without judgement. This is the therapist in me in wanting to be there for others but sometimes people need these moments and you never know what you could do for someone or yourself during moments like this.
Someone very close to me asked me this weekend, if I was happy and I guess that also led me to making this a post today. It shocked me because I didn’t expect it, it told me that I wasn’t covering up as well as I thought I was. I feel as I write my topics, they’re therapeutic for me but there are still some areas in my life that I just want to change, how to do it, that’s the question but just wanting to do more with the gifts I have, if that makes sense. Like I wrote in my previous post, this weekend ignited something in me to do more, how I will do it, not sure just yet but I’m going to make it a point to focus on some things on a daily basis until I get to a point where I am truly happy with all facets of my life. Sometimes we have a vision but just planning things out is where I get stuck at times, maybe looking at the long road ahead or maybe it’s wanting that goal right now but we all know it doesn’t work like that, it takes time and it’s willing to put forth that effort. When I think about this question I’d be lying if I said I was all the way happy, it’s a process and I feel I’m 65%-75% there. The true goal is working to fill up my Happy tank and for you to do the same however you want to analyze this question but it’s really looking at this and thinking about what you really need, what’s missing to get you to 100%, are you serious about getting to this place, etc? This question is something I feel we’re missing in our lives full of distractions, we need to take a step back and truly listen. I remember answering laughing it off saying I was happy and then I thought about it and just started going into detail on my currents stressors so I think you really can pull more out of someone with a question like this, it helps people get out of their monotonous routine of how they interact and really builds on caring for each other. You never know what someone is going through unless you just ask and sometimes this can be a way to merge our interactions to have more meaningful conversations that helps you see more of an individual than the facade they may give on a regular basis. So, if you care to listen and really want to delve in to another level of interaction with someone, ask them, “Are you happy?” and see the limitless path the conversation can go when you truly are present and empathetic to what you’re hearing. Better yet ask yourself this and really focus on your needs, not just whats on the surface.
Thanks for coming.